you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
