I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
