How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
