I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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