ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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