is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
