good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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