words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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