Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
