I just cut my nipple shaving
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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