I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
