so explain again why im purple
no
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
