How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
