I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
