This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
