She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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