Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Randomize
