K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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