She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
