remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Alive.
So much puke
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Randomize
