youre lurking in front of me
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Randomize
