totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
