i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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