Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
