He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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