she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I need to align my fucking chakras
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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