Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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