I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
