what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
