kristin has been a bad kristin
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
