So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
