I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
