if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
