So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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