She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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