Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize
