Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
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