i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
