wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Randomize
