I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
He better not be in your backpack
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
