one word: firstdatebathroomanal
stop calling my apartment porn island.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
