While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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