Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
