My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Randomize
