i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
