so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
