y did u give ur computer a hand job?
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
