As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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