Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
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