Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
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