Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Come see our sink grown plant.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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