If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
So here I am, sexting at work.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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