just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
