He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
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