how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize