Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
