Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Randomize
