is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize