I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
