Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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