we have officially lost it.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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