like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
