hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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