no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
then he tried to convert me to islam
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
