I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
