your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
