um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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