This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Randomize
