the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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