Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
