the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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