i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
