i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
