In the future we'll all be gay
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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