D3 body, D1 cock
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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