Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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