hell yes lets make some ravioli
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
how does that bad decision feel?
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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