you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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