I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
