i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
